ZG shorts
Contributions to zg shorts can be profound, funny, snatches of news written up from German news reports, a joke - anything about Berlin, life or the world - but they have to be short. If it's just one line and its good, give it to us.
Hauptbahnhof leaves passengers in rain
The new Berlin Hauptbahnhof (central train station) celebrates its first year anniversary on May 28 and the light-flooded airy construction from architect Meinhard von Gerkan has been swamped with lavish though not universal praise. Judging by comments at last June's World Cup, where it was easy to rub shoulders with humans from across the planet, most non-Berliners were impressed.
The traffic is also pleasing to the city and the Deutsche Bahn--300,000 visitors a day although the station isn't well connected except north-south through the city. Streetcars and some underground lines won't be connected until 2011.
The biggest complaint about Hauptbahnhof comes from the city's westerners, who are annoyed many long-distance trains don't stop anymore at Bahnhof Zoo despite a petition signed by tens of thousands. The extra six minute ride plus waiting and walking adds 20 minutes to any journey. Proponents of the new main train station say, shut up, Zoo was cramped, dirty, far removed from architectural wonder or even interesting period piece. If you are bothered by these kind of things, then it was also notorious for drug dealers and child prostitutes.
The most interesting thing is the Hauptbahnhof roof was shortened by 100 meters (around 100 yards) in a rush to finish in time for the World Cup. That means the first-class wagons are left out in the rain. That sounds like Berlin--where else in this world do the well-heeled ever get the short end of things. May 27, 2007
Love Parade apparently headed to mining region
The flirt between the Love Parade, which feels unloved in Berlin, and five cities in Germany's industrial belt--the Ruhrpott--may soon produce one exotic wedding.
But the impending union was confirmed by a spokeswoman for the former brown coal mining region's economic development organization. She said contracts could be signed within two weeks to hold the giant rave on Aug. 25 in Essen, followed next year by Dortmund. Fellow former mining towns Bochum, Duisburg and Gelsenkirchen complete the rotation.
The Love Parade was born in Berlin in 1989 when 150 people raved and was rooted in the epicenter for electronic music, and at its height turned the capital into an overflowing club for a July weekend. Television images of the dancing at the Siegessaule (Victory Statue), where the finale with all the big name DJs was held, were flashed around the world.
But if you're a cynic, you would have to say a parade of love that gets you high and makes you want to dance means you have to come down sometime and then the divorce is waiting. The organizers couldn't reach an agreement with the Berlin Senat and the Ruhrpott (Ruhr Valley) won a nationwide competition to be the new beau.
The question now in the clash of civilizations is who will win. The football fans who feel at home draped in their colors, swilling beer and singing "We are the Champions"? Or the youth of both sexes clad to the minimum, pulsating to trance, house, techno and schranz, their party stamina enhanced by love (according to the organizers), which seems to come in tablets these days. Who will outnumber who? Will they life happily ever after? What will the in-laws think? Who brought the White Trash home?
We know the Love Parade is a brand with MTV and McFit studios involved and its commercial and sold everywhere now from Acapulco to Santiago, but we don't really care. The last time we attended the girls wore push-up bras that made their breasts look like cones _ we think Madonna started this short-lived trend--but we just always thought the ravers were a good-natured bunch and damn they looked like they were having fun. Let them.
That's why _ don't bombard us with PC politics _ we think the city fathers are making one of their biggest mistakes since they let almost every piece of the Berlin Wall be torn down to make room for y office buildings still waiting for occupants. rk, May 22, 2007
"Run Lola Run" director out of luck at German film awards
"Lola" was the word of the night at the German film awards, but that didn't bring "Run Lola Run" director Tom Tykwer any luck.
A prison drama, "Vier Minuten" ("Four Minutes") stole the main prizes from Tykwer's latest film at the 57th Deutschen Filmpreis, the German version of the Oscars. The awards were handed out Friday inside Berlin's Funkturm.
The story of the relationship between a young woman convicted of murder and an older female piano teacher, widely described as "moving" (the usual praise for a serious German film, which is about every German film ever made) captured best film and best actress, which went to Monica Bleibtreu on her 63rd birthday.
Tykwer's expensive international production "Perfume," another story of a murderer with Dustin Hoffmann, did take home a "lola"--as the prizes are called--in five minor categories including camera and editing.
"Lola" popped up again when Armin Mueller-Stahl won the prize for life work, having appeared in Fassbinder's 1981 film "Lola." The 76-year-old wryly noted the award meant that he when he looked back at his work most of the people involved were now dead.
The best director award went to Marcus Rosenmueller for a film that should have nabbed a lola for best name, "Wer frueher stirbt ist laenger tot," or "Who dies young is dead longer." It took best screenplay, one of 15 awards handed out worth 2.845 million euros. May 6,2007
Germans scared to send Nefertiti back to Egypt
One of Berlin's and the western world's sexiest plunders, Nefertiti (Nofretete in German), may not be heading back to Egypt after all. The German parliament's cultural committee this week expressed doubt about the risks of travel for the fragile 3,000 year bust, which Egypt wants back on loan for the opening of the Egyptian Museum in the pyramids in five years.
The CulturCooperation, under the motto "Nefertiti goes on a journey," is demanding the world famous bust--now on display at the Altes Museum--be sent to Egypt while Museumsinsel (Museum Island) is renovated. Culture committee chairman Hans-Joachim Otto, however, joined the chorus of politician's voices that insist Nefertiti is priceless, a world treasure, and an artwork to protect and not put at risk, while making its beauty available to all humans.
That means the Germans fear damage from temperature swings or vibration. What they fear even more is the Egyptians will never give sexy Nefe back.
The Germans say there is nothing to legally contest about the acquisition of Nefertiti and that the Egyptian government has never raised objections in that way. Despite this, they know there have been repeated calls out of Egypt for the Germans to give back the long-necked beauty that was excavated in 1912 by Ludwig Borchardt. April 26, 2007
Soccer World Cup an economic bust--unless jobs migrate to China
The German Institute for Economic Research DIW Wednesday deflated a big myth, one propagated by the politicians at least--that last year's soccer World Cup give the country a big financial boost. A DIW study found no measurable effect from hosting the world's largest most passionately followed event, which stands alone in that department.
The DIW did say Germany received an image boost worldwide for holding a well-run event --it did reflect a society in which most things function better than elsewhere (You disagree? Just try riding a British or Romanian train, getting a French electrician to show up, wake up a Polish bartender to get a drink, or try to count presidential votes in Florida). Nonetheless, the institute's summary of the World Cup's effect on the country's pocketbook: "No positive total economic effects worth mentioning."
The DIW estimates that only 500 million Euros was spent by all those samba-shaking Brazilians with their scantily clad female followers (everyone's favorite fans), singing Poles, wonderful human beings until shit-faced English supporters, and Ecuadoreans who never lose their good mood (not a single one and I met a lot of them).
That 500 million was far less than the German politicians promised and is offset by the outlay to host the World Cup, from infrastructure to new stadiums. The study did give the Germans hope they can still make a living if manufacturing jobs migrate to China. "The 2006 World Cup was a piece in the process of the German industrial society changing to a service society that will be recognized worldwide for hosting events." April 19, 2007
Tacheles 4 a.m. 
Berlin Jews overrun again
The Berlin Jewish Council, which has a long tradition, is threatening to splinter. Around 300 to 350 members want to form their own organization--a reaction to the flood of Russian Jews that have immigrated into Germany and Berlin since the breakup of the Soviet Union.
"They aren't in agreement with the present course of the council," said historian Julian H. Schoeps. "The council is nothing more than a Russian cultural organization."
Around 80 percent of the 10,000 Berlin Jews are now from the former iron curtain. During the past decade, the new arrivals have overwhelmed the ones who remained here or trickled back in after World War II and the Holocaust. April 16, 2007
Berlin getting younger all the time
Germany may be aging because of the country's disastrous birth rate, but that ain't Berlin's problem. Around 1 million persons between 18 and 35 moved into the city of 3.4 million humans between 1991 and 2005.
Berliners are a restless bunch with big dreams, no money and small shifty eyes (no I don't have stats to back that up), which means there is a lot of turnover among the 18-35 population. Nonetheless, we have a net gain of 246,000 the past 15 years--we are getting younger in a country (and a world) aging because of the baby bust.
Berlin is growing by around 10,000 to 15,000 humans a year, depending on which report you believe. Poles lead the new residents, followed surprisingly by Spanish and French.
The Spanish we meet say Berlin is a cool place back home, but we know their real motive for coming here--they are bailing out before global warming bakes Spain into a desert.
We know the rising temperatures are a disaster in the making, and we have read the reports the planet's poor will bear the global warning brunt, but we also know what Berliners think down deep--DAMN these short winters and balmy days are NICE.
By 2020, the predictions are the foreign population in Berlin will grow from the present 13.1 to 15.5 percent.
rk, April 5, 2007
Music downloads jump 50 percent in Germany
Bitkom, Germany's office for new media, expects music downloads in the country to jump 50 percent this year, thanks mostly to young males.
Downloads will produce 60 million euros (80 million dollars) in sales, about six percent of the market. The physical CD still generates 85 percent of total income, with music videos at nine percent.
About two-thirds of German downloads are done by males, with the purchaser averaging 31 years of age. The CD buyers have a touch of gray in their hair, averaging around 39.
The U.S. market, where most of the hype about music downloads is generated, show CD sales have been in decline for at least the last 5 years, but still account for almost 90 percent of album purchases, according to Nielsen SoundScan.
April 4, 2007
Berlin web magazine first to be honored with a sandwich
Apr 3, 10:30 PM EDT
By DAVE CARPENTER AP Business Writer
LONDON (AP) -- Days after Katrin Lompscher, Berlin State Senator for Health, Environment and Consumer Protection, citing a recent WHO Health Report, had called for the boycotting of all sandwiches that use mayonnaise, the internationally recognized sandwich depository, UK’s Sandwich Project, put aside mounting criticism and has paved the way for the induction of the first Currywurst with Mayo sandwich to be found on the web.
Here, here - long live The zgBerliner!
http://www.sandwichproject.co.uk/search.php?term=The+ZgBerliner&Submit=go
The sandwich is the official nosh served daily to the contributors of Berlin’s newest web magazine, zgBerlin ( http://www.zgberlin.com/home) as they paste together web content.
Kit, a newer contributor to the web site, has voiced concern that if the mayo has to go, it will put an undue burden on the creative juices of the staff. “For me, the Senate should keep their noses out of the Mayo,” Kit said between bites. “But, I suppose short of tracking down smuggled jars from the Janowitzbrücke Midnight Mayo dealers, we might need to migrate to a soya spread.”
Stage for SuperNova 
KNUT the polar bear: Sexy until he gets old
Berlin and Germany can't get enough of Knut, the polar bear cub born Dec. 5 in the Berlin Zoo. The tyke is cuddly, good-looking even if you are not a teddy bear sort of person. He is a hot target for companies eager to sun their product in his natural charm.
The Berlin zoo is threatening legal action against all the unlicensed people putting Knut's likeness on coffee mugs, T-shirts and turning him into a stuffed animal. But experts already predict Knut may have a tough time making the transition from child star to big and lumbering full-grown animal.
"Knut is worth many millions as a frontman for merchandising and advertising," said Bernd Michael of the Grey agency. "but when he is grown up, he won't be sexy at all."
We just hope Knut doesn't develop the problems of another star trying to grow up, Britney Spears--and shave off all that white fur.
Want 600 euros for nothing each month--move to Germany
A radical new study said Germany will save money by giving everyone in the country a guaranteed 600 euros a month _ no matter if you are employed, unemployed or work independently.
Highly regarded economic expert Professor Straubhaar said his study shows the country will save 46 million euros if it adopts his system and scuttles the country's elaborate social system _ there are 155 ways of getting state money, ranging from payments for having children to rent subsidies for the poor.
Dieter Allhaus, minister president of Thuringia, wants to have the plan put into the party program of the governing CDU party. The study said employee's contribution will fall away, increasing jobs and therefore the tax flow. March 28, 2007
French bloggers help Tokio Hotel go international
Dumb pop music? Go on, insignificant, trivial, that stuff is a blight, sure, you listened to better crap than that when you were a teenager, I believe you, but it is noteworthy teenie sensation and rock-pop band Tokio Hotel is one of the few acts singing in German to escape the borders of their homeland and succeed internationally.
The foursome from East Germany's Magdeburg have played to full houses in Russia, with No. 1 singles in Germany, Poland, Austria and the Czech Republic. Tokio Hotel's new album "Zimmer 483" hit No. 2 in the French charts.
The explanation: French bloggers (presumably the girls) spread the word, loving the "manga" looks of the group's stars, 17-year-old twins Bill (dreads) and Tom Kaulitz (lots of makeup). Below is a year-old video. First English album due in a few months. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sg4d8oBB9yY&mode=related&search= March, 27, 2007
Want to smoke on a night out? Look for the "R"
Berlin has the most smokers in Germany, according to official statistics, a habit promoted by Berliners love of their Kneipes (all purpose cafe-bar-restaurants), clubs and the capital's freewheeling inexhaustible nightlife.
But the city's smoky midnight environment--a thinker and artist's haze, some would say; a way to get stinky clothes, others claim--may end. Then again, maybe not. The state's minister presidents agreed this week in principle to a comprehensive smoking ban--schools, government buildings, and yes, Kneipes. The pressure for action has been building for some time.
The states are already jockeying for exceptions--Bavaria wants an exemption for its beer tents (What's your reward for eating Schweinehaxe then?). Some states plan an exception for Eckkneipen, little one-room establishments. Bigger places will probably be allowed a smoker's room behind closed doors.
Another solution is to have a big "R," for Raucher (smoker) in front of the Kneipe, so you can choose your own environment.
This all sounds healthy. We Berliners would take a huge leap forward as evolved human beings--some of us need it desperately. If not you, then me.
One could argue though that a streak of primitiveness, a taint of decadence is more interesting and fun. And how much you want to bet the people that stumble into a popular kneipe at 3 in the morning--say Schwarz-Sauer these days--will head to the place with the R? ¶ rk, March 23, 2007
REQUEST TO RESCIND PUBLICATION
Please be publicly informed that my client, Ralph Syberson, requests that your web site remove all likenesses of him associated with a fictitious account pertaining to the actual business practices he does engage vin. Herr Syberson expects his privacy to be respected. Failure to do so may put into jeopardy on going negotiations with a publisher that is not correctly identified in your article.
Sincerely yours,
FERDINAND FOLCH VON SYDOW, LL.M. Oranienburger Strasse 45, 10117 Berlin
Honecker jokes, NOT Chaunaka jokes
One night, the last president of socialist East Germany, Erich Honecker, was in bed with his mistress. In a good mood, he offered to give her any present she wanted.
"Oh, Erich, there is one thing I would like you to do for me," she said, "Open the borders just for one day."
"Of course, my dear," he said. "But why would you have me do such a thing?"
The mistress replied, "I want to be alone with you."
Honecker and his chauffeur were driving through the East Germany countryside on a rural road when they run over a cow.
Honecker climbs out of the car and tells his chauffeur he will talk to the farmers. A half-hour later he returns, looking shaken and sits in the back seat without a word.
They drive and there is another thud _ this time they have run over a pig. Honecker remains seated and tells his driver that he should talk to the farmers.
The driver returns beaming, his arms loaded with gifts. Surprised, Honecker asks, "What did you say to them?"
"I said I am Erich Honecker's driver and I just ran over that pig." 19.03.2007
Ernst Lubitsch Program ends soon...
A good opportunity to pick up on a bunch of films from the local Schoenhauseralle Lad who went on to become head of Paramount Studios.
Full details and the complete schedule can be found at this link: http://www.babylonberlin.de/lubitsch.htm
Of special interest to those who will be in Berlin this coming week, a screening on Friday, March 23 of the Lubitsch-Pola Negri classic Sumurun (1920) with music accompaniment by Stephan v. Bothmer. Show begins at 8 pm and - a tip for those who have a good grasp of the German langhuage - following the Negri film is a Robert Fischer's documentary of Lubitsch, Ernst Lubitsch in Berlin
Reservations can be made in advance at the Neue Babylon Berlin in Mitte, Rosa-Luxemburg-Str. 30 • 10178 Berlin Kino Karten/Kasse/Informationen: Fon: +49 - (0)30 - 24 25 969
PS: More from Lubitsch and Negri: Saturday, March 17th at 6 pm... Madame Dubbary (D, 107 Min 1919, r, stumm, dt.+ fr. ZT) Sunday, March 18th at 4 pm... Carmen (D, 88 Min, 1918, r, stumm), M: Steven Garling Tuesday, March 27th at 8 pm... Das Weib des Pharao (D, 68 Min, 1921, r, p, stumm)
Schalti - Berlin 11.03.2007
TEMPELHOF: The Mud above, the Sky below
If we were able to vote here in local Berlin elections, the joke would be on us. Our benighted Mayor - so appealing to those who had in another era a chance to vote for Harvey Milk - has become weak kneed over the closing of the Templehof Airport.
What gives Wowi? Where is your leadership on this issue? Are you still in favor of an "Open Berlin where everybody gets his chance."
His words, not ours - check out his web site: ( http://www.klaus-wowereit.de/mein_berlin/)
And, poking a finger at Templehof... do you still advocate, "Today it is a matter of doing everything, so that economy of Berlin further grows and has everybody a little bit of it."
Leadership, Babe - that's what these two non-voting Berliners want. Can you get your self out of the muck of local politics and get back to reaching for the skies?
Need inspiration... have a go at this down load: http://www.sendmefile.com/00511043
KitNKaboodle - Berlin March 8, 2007
ZG boss admits to secret police funding
Many point out our name ZG Berlin is acronymn ZGB, which have major resemblance to KGB. We believe you should joyfully know we have support of great agency and successors, and trusted friends GAZPROM and Roman Abramovich in the name of Putin, our leader of embracing democracy. We give full assurance, we remain vigilant against counterproductive enemies; witness excellent nuking of Alexander Litvinenko in London. A comrade of once great PR and marketing service, we have best information he become counter-democrat by gathering of intelligence on British birds. In field report, he say: hell they're bloody easy once you get a few pink flamingos down their throat.
We offer you great bear hug of friendship and know you embrace duty to support and contribute Zeit Geist Berlin. You should not be afraid we stockpile polonium-210 in our office and Hamburg office. Since big UPS packet come Thursday, no one eat or drink in ZGB compound anymore.
You may ask, reader comrades, how we know if you follow duty to further great just cause at standard-bearer of public relations ZGB? That is beauty of market force of democracy. We place comrades highly at google, who have all-knowing all-seeing apparatus we dare not dream about even very happy after second bottle of good Russian vodka.
Thanks to Mother Russia, who have big heart and veins to pump oil and gas, it is is very good to be rich democrat and scary player on financial markets. We did not like being poor democrats so much.
Leon Trotsky III, CEO ZG Berlin, president of communications GAZPROM and democrat to death.
Memorandum
To All Employees
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.)
We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T., please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. seriously will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.)
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.)
Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don't have to take S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already. If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LEADERSHIP LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H. I.T).
Thank you, BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T)Describe AllEmployees here.
contriubted by Richard Touvhy
YouTube helps German right wing learn to love web
Germany's right-wing traditionally derided the the internet as an American imperalist invention _ until You Tube came along.
The NPD, the country's biggest nationalistic party, shocked many in Germany when it began broadcasting its own news show on the video site, patterned after the popular evening show the "Tagesschau."
The jarring difference was the symbol on the wall behind the crew-cut young man sitting behind a polished wood desk with folded hands -- a "black sun" logo. A symbol from Nazism's bizarre neo-Germanic mythology, it was a favorite of SS-leader Heinrich Himmler.
"The coverage of the recent regional elections in Germany shows that the media of the system refuses to recognize us as a democratic party," NPD spokesman Klaus Beier said. "That's why we have to find our own ways to reach our supporters and voters."
The NPD gained a major election triumph by its standards while the show was on the air _ YouTube pulled the plug on Sept. 27 _ and gained 7.3 percent of the votes in the German state of Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania to gain seats in the regional parliament. That produced plenty of hand-wringing in the straight media and as much crowing on the right-wing party's news show.
But the YouTube show was just a trial _ by November, the NPD plans to be back with a more sophisticated operation and a woman anchor, presumably a more pleasing face for the "national cause" than the gravelly voiced young man.
"Soon, we'll transmit over the Internet a weekly news show from our party headquarters," Beier said. --Spiegel Online
Paris Hilton drives German acting legend into retirement
Armin Mueller-Stahl doesn't raise the name Paris Hilton, or anyone from "Big Brother" or "Survival," but they seem to play a lead role anyhow in his recent announcement that he was ending his storied film career.
"If I pick up someone from the streets, put them in a series and the become famous afterwards _ that has nothing to do with my understanding of my profession," Mueller-Stahl said.
One of Germany's greatest actors, the 75-year-old seemed at home in anything from the "X-Files" and "The Peacemaker" to the former East Germany Oscar winner "Jakob, der Luegner (Jacob the Liar)" or Rainer Werner Fassbinder's "Lola."
Some looking back will chuckle thinking of him as Helmut Grokenberger, the former East German clown turned New York taxidriver whose grinding clutch drove his black American passenger nuts in Jim Jarmusch's 1991 "Night on Earth."
Mueller-Stahl will play in two or three more films, then bid farewell to "miserable actors" and a developing Hollywood storyline he no longer believes in. He finds it bizarre that the big stars in the dream factory can earn $300 million a film with a share of the take.
"And its complety aburd that a producer can earn even more," Mueller-Stahl said.
A U.S. citizen living in California, Mueller-Stahl plans to spend his time with music, painting and helping young artists.
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